


Justice

by K1mHeechu1



Series: Podium or Die (Or Die and Podium) [2]
Category: Figure Skating RPF, Sports RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Drama, M/M, Major Character Injury, Romance, Shooting, Temporary Character Death, Time Travel Fix-It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2019-08-18 18:56:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16522754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K1mHeechu1/pseuds/K1mHeechu1
Summary: It all happened so fast. It happened so fast.He still couldn’t believe it.Javier  didn’t want to believe it.Javier was ready to do whatever it takes to have Yuzuru in his life.Luckily, Fate agrees with him and sends him on a puzzle solving ride.Or: the one where Javier and Yuzuru's love gives them a second chance.





	1. No, you can’t let me go

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I know. But I thought "Wait, I killed Shoma last week and he won gold, so should I try and see if it works again?"
> 
> And it became this.
> 
> (It worked, tho, so I might do it again lol)
> 
> I'm sorry!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> No Shomas were injured while making this story

“It all happened so fast.” Tired hands run through hair. “It happened so fast.”

He still couldn’t believe it.

He didn’t want to believe it.

“Mr. Fernandez, we understand you are deeply shocked by the situation, but we need you to tell us all you can, so we can compile all facts. And it’ll be better the sooner you do, since the memories are still fresh.”

Like the memories would ever stop being fresh in his mind.

He sighed.

“We were just hanging out on one of the dressing rooms.”

“Who’s we?”

“Alex, Maia, Shoma, Evgenia, Wakaba, Yuzuru and me.”

“And then what happened?”

“We heard loud noises and screams. We didn’t know what it was, so we went out to the corridor to check, and saw people running away from the rink.”

“Did you asked what happened?”

“Stephane told us to run, that there were armed people in the building, and that Dai and Kaori were dead, and he had seen Alina and Jun get shot right on the head, so we began running towards the exit.”

 

 

 

“Please, continue.”

 

 

 

“We could still hear gunshots in the back, so we kept running. We saw Carolina and Scott lying injured about 20 metres from us in a side corridor and wanted to stop and help but Alex told us that we needed to get out and call for help, that we wouldn’t be able to help anyone if we were dead, so we kept going. And then Stephane stopped us, right around a corner there was a guy with a knife.”

“What did you do?”

“Stephane hit him on the back when he turned around, and Alex and Yuzuru went for the arms, but we couldn’t control him. Shoma grabbed a chair, knocked him on the head, and that got him out cold.” Deep breathe. “Yuzuru helped Alex to stand up, because the guy had hit his head and he was a little dizzy and kept going. We got close to the exit but had to hide on a side room because there was another armed guy blocking the door.”

 

 

 

 

“Mr. Fernandez…”

 

 

 

 

 

“It took about five minutes for the guy to leave, he went further into the building, so we made a run for the door as quietly as we could. We got out and run away, hiding behind some cars in the parking lot, and Wakaba called emergencies, because she was the only one with a phone.”

 

 

 

 

“Mr. Fernandez, I know it’s hard but…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“No one realised. I didn’t realise. No one saw it.” A knot in his throat. “He was leaning against me. The police arrived five minutes later and told us to get further away from the building, so we all stood up to do that, but he suddenly fell to the ground. I leant over him, tugged his hands away from his side, and saw they were covered in blood.” Tears. “The guy in the corridor had stabbed them, and no one realised. He didn’t say a thing. Why didn’t he say anything?”

 

 

Sobs.

 

 

 

 

“Mr. Fernandez, we know this was extremely difficult for you, and we thank you for doing this. We will make sure justice is made.”

 

 

 

 

 

Justice wouldn’t mean anything.

Justice wouldn’t take away the guilt of not having known Yuzuru had been hurt.

Justice wouldn’t take away the fact he hadn’t done anything to help.

             That there was nothing he could do to help.

Justice wouldn’t erase the fact that the last thing he said to Yuzuru had been ‘We are safe’, not ‘I love you’.

Justice wouldn’t make him forget how frightfully pale Yuzuru was, crying his last tears between his arms, how his chest had stopped moving, and his eyes had stopped being full of life, to become dark and empty.

              That he had died in his arms.

 

 

Justice wouldn’t take away the engagement ring in the side pocket of his suitcase and put it on Yuzuru’s finger.

 

 

Nothing would ever bring Yuzuru back.

 


	2. Even though it’s hard, stay longer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a mess, and it's too short, but here you are.
> 
> I hope you like it, and please let me know in the comments if you think I should continue it bc I'm not too sure.
> 
> Thank you!
> 
> See you when I see you x

Waking up was scary. 

 

He sat up, chest heaving as if he had just run a marathon, black dots dancing in his view. He closed his eyes, tried to calm himself, and opened them again.

 

“Hi Javi.” A voice to his right startled him. He looked in their direction, mouth falling open as he took in the person sitting in front of him. 

 

“Jun? What? But you’re...”

 

“Yeah, I know.” Jun grimaced. “The ones in charge believed you’d feel better if it was someone you know. ”

 

“Feel better? Jun, what…” Javier analysed his  slightly slouched posture, the way he moved, seemingly imitating his rink mate's behaviour, but looking just slightly forced and uncomfortable, and his face hardened. “You’re not Jun.” Fake Jun sighed.

 

“I’m not.” Fake Jun stopped hunching, and straightened his back, looking more regal, but with an easy smile on his lips. “Your friend has a human soul, a really pure human soul, at it, so pure he wouldn’t even be qualified to be turned into a reaper. My soul used to be human, at some point, but it has been long since I’ve lived in a vessel made of flesh and blood.”

 

“What are you?”

 

“I’m your counsellor. The fate has sent me to talk to you.”

 

“Counsellor? I don’t need a counsellor.” Javier stood up, starting to pace around the room. “I just need to fucking die and be done with it all. That way I’ll be able to...” He stopped abruptly, closed his eyes trying to keep the tears from falling. “I just want to die to be able to see him again.”

 

Fake Jun’s smile dimmed a little at his words.

 

“I’m sorry Javier, but killing yourself would do absolutely nothing to make you see him again.” Javier’s eyes widened. “Souls that suffer a predetermined death go on to their reincarnation, to start over again. But the souls of those who take fate in their own hands become cursed, and have to face fate’s punishment.”

 

“Then what can I do? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO!? TELL ME! BECAUSE I CAN’T LIVE THE REST OF MY LIFE, I DON’T CARE HOW SHORT OR LONG, WITHOUT HIM!” Javier gave up on keeping the tears at bay, and started to cry, chest heaving with sobs as he screamed. “I WAKE UP EVERYDAY WISHING I HAD BEEN THE ONE HELPING ALEX KNOCK THE ATTACKER OUT, OR HAD REALISED HE WAS HURT, OR HAD BEEN LATE FOR REHEARSAL AND KEPT HIM IN BED FOR A LITTLE LONGER SO WE WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN THERE! I CAN’T LIVE THIS WAY! THIS IS NOT LIVING, THIS IS HELL! HOW IS THIS ALL I CAN DO!!??”

 

“What if I told you you have another option? What if I told you you can bring him, and everyone who died, back?” Javier’s sobs stopped abruptly, and he looked at Fake Jun warily, but with hope shining in his eyes.  “That’s the reason I’m here. And that’s the reason why I’m wearing your friend’s vessel right now. Fate has decided that, were you to accept, they are giving you a chance to fix it all.”

 

“What? Why?”

 

“The love you profess for Yuzuru is far too pure, and strong to ignore. And Yuzuru’s love for you played a role in the decision as well. We’ve never seen a more stubborn soul, he wouldn’t let go of life because he wanted to stay with you.”

 

Javier bit his lip, deeply touched. Even as he died, Yuzuru thought of him. Even as he died, Yuzuru loved him.

 

“They’re giving me a second chance? What do I have to do?”

 

“They’re sending you back in time. They’re making it so you’ll have a week to figure out how to stop this from happening, or to at least, save everyone.” Javier grew anxious, how was he supposed to save everyone single-handedly? “I’ve been designed as your counsellor to help guide you along the way. Everyone's rooting for  you. Now go, you should be waking up right about now.” Javier felt himself become lighter and lighter, and something pulled at him slightly, a light tug first and then it became more and more forceful. “Oh, and Javi?” The being smirked at him playfully. “Please stop calling me Fake Jun. It’s quite rude. My name is Han. Goodbye.” 

 

Javier couldn’t answer. He was blinded by the sudden light that engulfed the room.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Waking up was scary.    
  
He sat up, chest heaving as if he had just run a marathon, black dots dancing in his view. He closed his eyes and tried to calm himself.

 

“Javi?” His entire body tensed when he felt a pair of warm hands touching him, one rubbing his back and the other one brushing his hair gently. “You okay? Have nightmare?”

 

He took a deep breath, and turned around.

 

His eyes met a pair of brown eyes. The last time he had seen them, they were cold, and dark, and  _ wrong _ . Now, they were warm, concerned, and full of life.

 

Javier broke down in tears as he threw himself into Yuzuru’s embrace, shocking his boyfriend, who quickly snapped into action hugging him close and trying to calm him.

 

Javier couldn’t calm down. He had been given a second chance.

 

And he was terrified he was going to fail.

 

_‘No.’_ He thought. _‘I won’t fail.'_

 

 

 

_'I’ll save him even if it costs me my life.'_


	3. If I can see you a bit more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said this thing would be 5 chapters like an exageration?
> 
> I lied. 
> 
> We're in for at least 10 folks, because I can't seem to write chapters longer than this, RIP my writing abilities lol.
> 
> As always, proof-reading? Who dat? Don't know her.
> 
> Hope you like the chapter.
> 
> Leave your theories in the comments, lol.
> 
> Happy reading!

“Javi, what wrong? You scaring me.” Yuzuru’s arms were still tightly wrapped around his body, trying to calm him down even as he tried to figure out what was happening.

 

“Yuzu. Yuzu, oh Dios mío.” Javier looked at Yuzuru’s face for a couple of seconds before he broke down in sobs again, chest heaving as he tried to breathe between the tears. “Yuzu… Yuzu...”

 

He could tell he was freaking Yuzuru out, making him extremely nervous and agitated, but he couldn’t stop crying.

 

Yuzuru was alive.

 

His body was warm, and flushed, and his arms were strong as they wrapped around Javier.

 

Yuzuru was alive.

 

Javier had a second chance.

 

He felt Yuzuru’s fingers running through his hair as he rested his forehead against Yuzuru’s neck, softly carding through his short curls, and the motion started calming Javier down, making his sobs stop, only silent tears still rolling down his cheeks, breath still laboured and loud.

 

“Javi, it okay, I’m here.” He felt Yuzuru’s lips moving against his ear, the warm air he expelled making him shiver. Yuzuru was there. Yuzuru was right there with him.

 

He let himself relax in Yuzuru’s arms, slumping against his body completely. Yuzuru simply lay back down, pulling at Javier’s body until they were resting in a comfortable position, brushing the tears off his cheek, only to go back to running his fingers through Javier’s curls, methodically and gently.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Javier didn’t know when he had fallen asleep, but when he woke up with the biggest headache in history, it was to two familiar voices speaking in a hushed tone.

 

“...he been sleeping since, but I really worried, he won’t stop crying until he sleep.”

 

“Well, Yuzu, whatever it was, it was a really bad dream, but it was only a dream, I’m sure, so stop being so worried” Brian, his brain instantly offered. It sounded so far away, maybe Yuzuru had called him? It didn’t sound as if he was in the room with them. “I'm Sure he’ll be better when he wakes up. Just remember to make him drink lots of water, he’s going to be dehydrated after all that crying.”  Yuzuru’s hand, that he had just noticed had been drawing shapes on his back all along, stopped moving, making him whine, and open his eyes barely.

 

Yuzuru froze at the noise and looked down, smiling softly when their eyes met.

 

“He awake Brian, thank you. See you tomorrow.” Yuzuru smiled at him, ending the call and turning around to place his phone on the bedside table.

 

_ ‘... wait a minute, see you tomorrow?’  _

 

Javier looked around, eyes going wide as he payed attention to his surroundings. It was their room. In their shared apartment. In Toronto.

 

Definitely not where he had been staying one week before the tragedy struck. Definitely not the expensive suite he and Yuzuru were sharing in Japan during that stop of the tour.

 

_ ‘What the fuck is going on?’ _

 

“...vi, Javi.” He shook his head, staring at Yuzuru who was leaning over him from where he sat on the bed, looking extremely concerned. “Javi, you okay? I call name but not answer.”

 

Javier forced himself to smile. His head was killing him.

 

“I’m fine, don’t worry. Just a really bad headache.”

 

Yuzuru relaxed a little, nodding and caressing the darkened skin under his eyes gently.

 

“You look awful. I go find some pill and water, you stay here.”

 

Yuzuru kissed his hair gently, before leaving the room.

 

Javier looked around, trying to find any sign of why he was there. His eyes found Yuzuru’s phone. He grabbed it and pressed the on button, making the screen light up, quickly using his fingerprint to unlock it and go to the calendar app.

 

**_10:15 AM_ **

**_Sunday, February 28 2021_ **

  
  
  


He closed the app, locking the phone and putting it back where it was, before falling onto his back on the bed.

  
  


He had gone back in time alright. But it hadn’t been a week.

 

It had been almost five months.

  
  
  


“Here Javi.” Startled, he opened the eyes he didn’t know he had closed, to find Yuzuru smiling as he sat down next to his body, handing him a water bottle and motioning at him to grab the pills  he was holding with his other hand. “Pain be gone when you drink water and pill.”

 

Javier sat down a little, and took the pills before downing half the water bottle he had been offered. He hadn’t realised just how thirsty he was until the water touched his lips. He screwed the cap back on, giving the bottle back to Yuzuru, who just put it next to his phone.

 

He lay back down, and Yuzuru smiled softly at him, caressing his cheek with one hand, while the other one found Javier’s hand and intertwined their fingers together, squeezing a little.

 

“You okay? You scare me last night.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Javi sighed, leaning his face against Yuzuru’s touch, making his lover smile wider. “I had an awful dream, and when I woke up, I was so relieved it was over, I couldn’t stop crying.” Yuzuru nodded empathically.

 

“Want tell me what it was about? Or no talk about it is better?”

 

Javier’s heart ached just by the thought of saying it out loud.

 

“I can’t talk about it. I just want to forget it happened.” He closed his eyes with a sigh, and felt the mattress move as Yuzuru lay down, his body half on top of Javier, head resting against his collarbones.

 

“Okay Javi. Just rest, then. I stay here with you.” Javier hugged Yuzuru’s waist, caressing him over his shirt, before slipping his hand under the fabric to touch the soft skin.

 

Yuzuru sighed happily. This was one of his favourite things, and Javier enjoyed it just as much.

 

Just touching, skin against skin, for no other reason than enjoying each other’s warmth. Javier loved feeling the hardness of Yuzuru’s muscles under his soft skin, he adored mapping shapes on Yuzuru’s skin until his lover was completely relaxed, and Javier was sure that, were Yuzuru a cat, he’d been purring like an engine after a couple of minutes.

 

Yuzuru broke the contact to remove his shirt and trousers, helping Javier out of his own clothes, before removing his underwear as well, and laying back down, allowing Javier to continue exploring his body.

 

They both loved sex, but Javier was complete sure that sex would never win if compared to this. The feeling of soft skin under his fingertips, of Yuzuru’s extremely toned body, all male and muscle and hard edges, that looked deceptively curvy under his clothes, but oh so masculine and attractive without them. Javier closed his eyes as his fingertips travelled over Yuzuru’s skin, fingers following the natural lines of his muscles, feeling Yuzuru shiver in delight at the attention Javier was giving him.

 

This was not about sex, or arousal, or heat. This was all softness, and gentleness, and the warmth of having each other, and love. This was them connecting without words, just soothing motions filled with feeling and tenderness.

 

This was so… so JaviandYuzu. There was no other way to describe it.

 

His eyes filled with tears, but he kept his fingers moving, not letting them fall.

 

He had been so close to never being able to feel Yuzuru’s skin under his touch ever again. So close.

 

‘Thank you. Whoever you are. Thank you for giving me a second chance.’

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Javier sat on the sofa as he waited for Yuzuru to be done with his shower to have dinner together when his phone rang. He took it, and read the name on the screen.

  
  


_ Junhwan _

  
  


He instantly answered.

 

_ “Hello Javier.”  _

 

“... Han?” Javier asked, doubtful

 

_ “Indeed. ”  _ Javier got up, putting on his jacket, and walked towards the balcony, stepping outside and closing the door, to avoid being overheard by Yuzuru in case he came out of the bathroom before he was done.

 

“Han, what’s going on? You said I’d have a week, but this is definitely not a week. Also, if you’re here, where’s the real Jun? Please tell me he’s okay, I don’t think I can handle...”

 

_ “Javier, the real Junhwan’s soul has been placed in stasis by the fate. If you were to succeed, his soul will come back to his body, and he’ll have memories of the time he was not here, but not about my presence in his vessel.”  _ Javier let out a relieved breath. Junhwan was safe. That was great news. _ “About your other question… let’s just say someone messed up the timelines, and we ended up going back in time a lot further than originally intended. Nothing can be done about it, so just use this extra time you’ve been granted wisely, and start thinking about how you’re going to solve the situation, or stop it from happening all together.”  _

 

“So I have five months? And there’s nothing that’s going to screw me over later for the extra time I’m getting?”

 

_ “Fate have mercy on me, I just had to be assigned to a daft one, of course.”  _ He heard Han mutter under his breath. _ “No Javier, there won’t be any future retaliations to come because of this… time mishap. The only consequences will be you having more time to solve your delicate puzzle, and me getting a mountain of paperwork to go through when this is done.” _

 

“Great!” Soft knocks on the glass door made him look up, to find Yuzuru holding the cat against his chest, head tilted to the side confusedly. He signaled to his phone, and Yuzuru nodded, pointing at the kitchen to let him know he’d be setting the table. Javier raised his thumb in understanding, and Yuzuru walked away. “Sorry about the paperwork. Thank you for the chance.”

 

_ “Javier, we’ll be seeing each other often, as I’m sure you know, but let me tell you this right now.”  _ Han said, voice going even more serious.  _ “Five months might feel like a lot, and you might be tempted to just coddle Yuzuru and try to hide him from the world, but that won’t do you any good. You need to use your time wisely, and work hard to stop the past from becoming the future.”  _ Javier went silent. He had no words that could answer that. “ _ We’ll see each other tomorrow then. Goodbye.” _

 

With that, the line went dead.

 

Javier went back inside the apartment, smiling as he found Yuzuru setting their plates on the table. He walked towards him, hugging him from behind.  Yuzuru giggled, and turned around without breaking the hug, linking his arms around Javier's neck and pulling him down to kiss him.

 

Javier melted into the contact, lips caressing Yuzuru’s lovingly, tongue tasting the other’s mouth, eyes firmly shut and hands massaging the waist under his hands. Yuzuru sighed, before gently biting his lower lip, and then slowly leaning back, smiling radiantly, eyes full of light and love.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ ‘Those eyes will never stop shining. I’ll make sure those eyes are always as warm and happy and loved as they are now, my love.’  _


	4. I’d smile for the rest of our love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hello... wtf is this chapter even? A hot mess.
> 
> This baby is 4.3k words long, aka, almost 1k longer that the previous 3 chapters put together... it sort of just happened? Lol
> 
> Well, let me know if you like longer or shorter chapters for future updates.
> 
> Thanks to 4Mine3 for reading it over and being awesome and for the people that kept me sane while writing it lol.
> 
>  
> 
> Happy reading and see you when I see you!

Javier kissed Yuzuru gently, feeling his smile as he nipped on his lower lip lovingly. Yuzuru whined a little as he felt him move back a little, but instantly sighed happily as he felt Javier's body molding against his own, pressing him into the mattress.

 

"I love you so much." Javier muttered against his mouth, their breaths intertwining and becoming one as they embraced each other tightly.

 

"I love you too." Yuzuru sighed out before moaning as he felt Javier mouthing at his neck. He wrapped his arms around his neck, fingers tangling into his hair, tugging him away from his skin and up towards his lips. "Kiss me."

 

Javier laughed breathily, and nodded, instantly sealing his mouth against Yuzuru's, curious tongue instantly licking against his lips, begging for entrance, which Yuzuru instantly gave. Javier felt his lungs ache, lightheadedness taking over all rational thought.

 

Yuzuru broke the kiss, heart beating fast, and buried his face in Javier's neck, trying to make his breathing normalise a little.

 

Javier grabbed him by the shoulders, turning their bodies around so his back was fully resting on the mattress, and Yuzuru was half draped over him, and peppering kisses all over Yuzuru's hair, gently combing it back away from his forehead to drop kisses against the soft skin, listening to Yuzuru's breathing to check it was going back to normal.

 

"You okay, there?" Javier asked, caressing his naked shoulder with gentle fingers.

 

"Yeah. I'm fine." Yuzuru left a soft kiss on his cheek before leaning on his elbows to raise himself over Javier. "It's just a little heavy breathing, it's not like I'm dying." Yuzuru chuckled, but his expression instantly changed when he felt Javier's entire body tense underneath him. "Javi..." He gasped when he saw Javier's eyes glossing over. "Javi, what's wrong? I..."

 

Javier simply shook his head, one single tear rolling down his face.

 

"It's nothing, don't worry." He took a deep breath and put a smile on his face. "Just... it brought back memories... from my nightmare" Yuzuru pouted softly, raising a hand to brush the frown off Javier's face, making him smile at the little touch.

 

"Javi needs to always be happy. I make sure Javi is always happy." Yuzuru leant down, pressing his lips gently against his. "Okay, let's shower."

 

"But you already showered..." Javier raised an eyebrow.

 

"Then I shower again. I'm not leaving you alone."

 

Javier caressed his soft cheek, and nodded, letting himself be pulled up by both hands, and guided into the bathroom. Yuzuru fiddled with the shower settings and a few moments later, they were both standing under the cascading water, hugging each other close and just basking in the warm feeling of both the shower and knowing they were the other's person reason for happiness.

 

Yuzuru broke the contact first, leaning down to grab a shampoo bottle and squirting some onto his hand, motioning for Javier to lean down a little so they he would be able to reach the top of Javier's head.

 

Javier did as he was told, smiling at the feeling of Yuzuru's fingers rubbing into his scalp, making sure the shampoo lathered nicely and then tilting his head back to Yuzuru could rinse the foamy substance off his hair. Yuzuru then grabbed a washcloth and some shower gel, cleaning his body gently, and bopping his nose, which made Javier open his eyes in shock, Yuzuru giggling at his expression.

 

"You look like Effie when she see red dot" He explained and Javier shook his head with a fond expression on his face. "Okay, we done."

 

He was guided out of the shower, and his skin dried with a fluffy towel with the utmost care. Yuzuru left his face for the end, patting it dry with a smaller towel, before smiling at him.

 

"Better?" He asked, hopeful smile on his face. Javier smiled and nodded.

 

"How can I not be better by now, when I'm with you?" He leant down and pecked his lips, wrapping his arms around his naked waist, making Yuzuru squeal. "You're everything to me, Yuzuru. You're my past, my present and my future. I never want to know what life feels without you, I want you to always be here to hold my hand and love me like you do."

 

Yuzuru's face was all smile, dimples in his cheek, eyes having disappeared into crescent shapes.

 

"I always by your side. Wherever Javi goes I go. I love you."

 

Javier just wrapped Yuzuru in a tight hug, loving the way he felt against him.

 

Solid. Warm. Alive.

 

Cold. Lifeless. Alone.

 

_'NO. That's never going to happen now. I won't allow it.'_

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Javier was startled awake by a yelp. He quickly opened his eyes and looked to the side, where Yuzuru and Effie were having a staring contest and chuckled.

 

"What are you two doing?"

 

Yuzuru turned around, pouting, and motioned at the cat sitting on his chest.

 

"She lick my nose. I was sleeping." Javier laughed, grabbing the cat and hugging her against her chest.

 

"Now, now, don't bully Yuzu. He's the one that gives you the tasty treats when I put you on a diet. " Effie meowed and bumped her head against his chin. "What time is it?"

 

"Almost 7. We get up anyway. Brian won't like it if we're late." Yuzuru kissed his cheek, and rubbed behind one of Effie's ears, making her purr. "I take care of breakfast, you feed cat."

 

Javier smiled as he saw Yuzuru basically dragging himself, still half asleep, into the walk-in closet.

 

He got up, setting Effie down onto the bed for a moment, putting on his pants and a long sleeved shirt, and then pondering for a second before grabbing a random pair of joggers that had been left on a chair when he realised the room was actually far colder than he had initially thought. He turned around, and took Effie in his arms again.

 

"Okay, princesa, vamos a buscar comida." He petted her head as he walked out towards the living room, allowing Effie to run to her extremely big play-castle that he had scolded Yuzuru for buying but actually was really fond off, before turning around and opening a cabinet -he heard Yuzuru shuffle past the living room on his way to the kitchen and smiled- to fish out a packet of wet food and pouring it into Effie's food bowl, before checking the water bowl was still full of clean water. Effie instantly smelled the food, rushing to it, bumping into Javier's ankle and making him laugh.

 

He left the cat to eat in peace, and headed to the kitchen, melting when he saw Yuzuru softly muttering the lyrics of an AKB48 song as he made sure the omelette wouldn't burn. The rice had already been dished out,  and the pre-cooked fish was warming up in the oven.

 

"Need any help?" Javier asked, wrapping his arms around Yuzuru's waist, and he felt Yuzuru hum as he leant back to rest his back against his chest.

 

"Set the table? My tea is almost ready." Javier nodded, kissing his ear before walking away to grab the necessary elements to set the table.

 

They finished getting everything ready together, moving around the kitchen as seamlessly as they had always moved on the ice, and sat down to eat quickly, so they wouldn't be in a rush as they headed to the rink.

 

Yuzuru smiled as Javier ate the last bit of rice left in his bowl.

 

"Javi, you can't go to rink like that." Javier looked down at his attire and raised an eyebrow. "No. You're not. Go put nice clothes. I left on bed." He rolled his eyes, but nodded and went to change into the training gear Yuzuru had chosen, a non- holey pair of joggers, and a generic black shirt. He grabbed his phone from the nightstand, and lit the screen to see if there was anything important.

  


**1 message from:**

**Jun**

  
  


He quickly unlocked the phone and went directly to the messaging app.

  


**_I'll be waiting for you after training in the last dance room on the right._ **

**_Do not tell anyone at all that we’re meeting there, we don’t want to raise suspicion_ **

  


**_Okay_ **

  
  
  
  


He took a deep breath, trying to steel himself, to prepare himself for the day ahead. He pocketed his phone and went to find Yuzuru, who was done putting all their dirty dishes inside the dishwasher and was already taking their suitcases and backpacks out of the entrance closet. Javier quickly put on his trainers and winter coat on, patting his pockets to make sure he wasn't forgetting anything.

 

"Have everything?" Javier asked, and Yuzuru nodded.

 

"Here, bag. We need to leave now, bus in 5 minute."

 

Javier grabbed his backpack, putting it on, and wrapped his hand around the suitcase's handle, and followed Yuzuru as he stepped out of the apartment.

 

He locked the door behind himself, and they both headed to the lift.

 

"Think we can go grocery shopping today?" Yuzuru asked as they both got into the lift and pressed the button for the ground level.

 

"I think so, as long as Brian doesn't need me to handle any paperwork." Yuzuru nodded, with a look that said he would give Brian puppy eyes until he let Javier go with him once his training was done.

 

They leisurely walked to the bus stop, just in time to see the bus arriving, getting on and sitting towards the back.

 

Yuzuru grabbed Javier's hand, entwining their fingers as the bus drove away, Javier smiled at him and rubbed his thumb over Yuzuru's knuckles.

 

Yuzuru nodded in rhythm with the music in his Javier looked out of the window, watching as the bus drove them closer to the rink. He tightened his grip around Yuzuru's fingers in their pre-set signal of 'Hey, our stop is coming.'

They got up and rang the bell, getting off the bus and walking towards the club's entrance, fingers still intertwined.

 

They nodded hello to everyone, and Javier kissed Yuzuru's cheek goodbye as he dropped him in front of the locker room door.

 

He walked to the rink, waving Jason hello from where he was warming up in the middle of the ice, and went into Brian's office. He knocked on the open door and poked his head in to find Brian and Tracy sitting there with cups of coffee.

 

"Hi Javi. Right on time." Brian motioned for him to come in, and offered him a cup of hot coffee. Javier could've kissed him, but that wouldn't have been pleasing for anyone involved so he simply took a sip and sighed at the warm feeling of the liquid traveling down his throat.

 

"We want you to work with Zhenya today." Tracy told him, smiling at him in that motherly way she always did. "We want to get her sal as consistent as we can, she won't change her mind about taking the quad out of the free for worlds." Javier nodded. It was understandable, Evgenia wanted to win, and the Ladies' field was so tightly packed, she needed everything she could manage to make sure she'd medal.

 

"Okay, I'll work with her, we'll get it so perfect she'll have 100% landing rate." Brian laughed, but nodded.

 

"I still can't believe you're still here after retirement, Javi." Brian said, standing up, and they all followed suit. It was almost time for the training sessions to start. "I thought you'd run back to Spain the second you hung your skates."

 

"I thought so too." Javier smiled. "For so many years, I thought I was going to move back, and live the rest of my life happily in Spain, I never even considered living anywhere else after I was done competing, not for the longest time."

 

"What happened?" Tracy asked, a knowing smile on her face, as the three of them walked out of the office and stood in front of the rink, where all their skaters were warming up, also known as fooling around with each other.

 

"He happened." Javier said, watching Yuzuru tightly gripping Evgenia's hand as they spun in circles in the same place, both of them laughing loudly. "I feel in love. And now my place in this world is wherever he is. No questions asked." Javier felt Brian's pat on his shoulder, but didn't look away from his boyfriend, taking in his maniac laugh and animated japanese screams that had both Jason and Evgenia laughing out loud with him. "Spain is no longer my home. Yuzu is my home now."

 

Brian groaned at Javier's words, quickly leaving to go round everyone up, making Tracy laugh before they both followed him.

 

"Okay everyone, listen up." Brian said, once he had everyone listening. "Yuzu, Jun, you're with me. Jason, you're with Tracy. Zhenya, you're with Javi. Now, c'mon, everyone go work!" He clapped his hands and everyone skated away.

 

"Hi Coach Javi." Evgenia laughed, hanging off Javier's arms, letting him pull her away from the rest.

 

"Hi Miss Medvedeva." Javier said, putting his best stern coach face, making her giggle. He reached over and pulled at her ponytail. "C'mon, let's get that quad sal under control."

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Javier sighed as he walked towards the last dance room on the right, like he had been instructed to. He almost had a heart attack when he found Jun's face staring at him from the middle of the dark room.

 

"HOLY SHIT!" He grabbed his heart in shock, trying to get his heart to stop beating so fast. "Dude, not cool! You can't just stare creepily at someone like that!"

 

Han simply raised an eyebrow and blinked at him.

 

"I was merely standing here waiting for you, Javier, I have no idea what you're talking about."

 

Javier sighed and shook his head.

 

"Well, then. I'm here."

 

"I see." Han said, sarcastically. "Have you given any thought to what you're going to do to stop the future from happening?" Javier instantly tensed. "Javier, this is not a joke. You need to start making a plan. You've been blessed with extra time because of a mishap, you need to use it wisely, or everything will follow its natural course and everyone's death will be inevitable."

 

"But Han, how am I supposed to prevent a terrorist attack that's going to happen in 4 months? I can't just simply call the police and go: 'Hello, I'd like to report an active shooter situation, probably a terrorist attack that will take place in months, and in which several people will die, including basically every single Figure Skating Medallist from the last Olympics, plus a bunch more people. Oh, how do I know? Uhm, yeah, I'm from the future!' Han! I'd be committed to a mental hospital before I can even blink."

 

Han took a deep breath, rubbing his temples.

 

"Why... why do I always get the daft ones? Did I make someone  upstairs mad at me or what?" He muttered under his breath, before staring right into Javier's eyes. "That's exactly why you need a plan, Javier. You need to have the upper hand and solve the problem before it happens, if you can. That should be your number one priority now." Javier bit his lip,clenching his hands into fists. "Listen to me, really listen. This is your only chance to change the future, Javier. If you don't do this right, Yuzuru Hanyu will die. His destiny had always been to die that day., it was written in the stars since the day his life started. So think this through, and tell me when you come up with a plan so I can tell you how stupid it is." With those final words, Han nodded his head goodbye, and left Javier standing there, in the middle of the dark room.

  


**_‘Yuzuru Hanyu will die’_ **

  


_Trying to grab the slight body as it crumbled to the floor._

 

_Hands covered in blood. Panicked brown eyes staring into his._

  


**_‘His destiny has always been to die that day. It was written in the stars since the day his life started’_ **

  


_Soft whimpers of pain. Tears cascading down soft cheeks._

 

_Skin getting paler and paler._

 

_A chest that stops moving. A heart that no longer beats._

  
  


Javier fell on his knees, hands pulling at his own hair, breathing getting faster as he got lost in his memories.

 

He couldn't save him.

 

It was impossible. He would never be able to do this. He was going to have to live the next months with the knowledge that, not only a lot of friends and people he knew were going to die, but the love of his life was going to die a horrible death, and he would be powerless to stop it.

 

Javier's tears started falling at some point, and he crawled on the floor until his back was resting against the wall. His sobs only got worse as time went by, chest heaving from exhaustion, stomach turning as he remembered the hell he was destined to relive.

 

He looked down at his hands and could only see red. The red of Yuzuru's blood, covering his skin, making it impossible for him to think of anything else but the moment he had seen his boyfriend's eyes go dull, and lifeless.

 

He scratched at his arms, feeling like something was crawling under his skin. He felt it all over his body, and he wasn't sure whether the feeling of a million bees stinging his body would've gotten close to how much everything hurt in that second. All was wrong. Everything.

 

He was going to go back to being alone. Stuck in a lifeless life.

 

He was going to have to lose Yuzuru all over again. He was going to have to see the moment Yuzuru Hanyu was no more again.

 

Javier leant to the side, emptying his stomach on the floor, and he heaved again and again as the flashbacks kept coming.

 

The noises, the smells- The sights. Blood splattered everywhere. His friends lying injured in the silent arena. The love of his life getting stabbed without anyone knowing.

 

He would have to go through it all again. His vision filled with black dots.

 

He didn't care. He was gone too far inside his mind to care.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Loud footsteps. Sounds of doors opening and closing. Voices. A loud bang.

 

"GUYS, I FOUND HIM!" A female voice. "HURRY!"

 

Gasps. A few cries.  Rapid steps coming close. A hand touching him.

 

Javier trashed, trying to get away from whoever that was.

 

"Javi, Javi, it's okay! It's me! Javi, it's Brian!"

 

A loud sound, mixture of crying and screaming. Javier wondered who was making that awful noise.

 

"Get Yuzuru! And call 911, this is too much for us to handle alone."

 

More voices. That awful noise was still there, but sounded almost bloody, broken.

 

And then, a soft voice broke through the commotion.

 

"Habi..." It sounded soft, worried, tearful.

 

But so, so distinctive. So Yuzuru.

 

Javier started regaining his senses.

 

' _Oh.'_ He thought, ' _That's me. I'm screaming._ ' He stopped, coughing as he tried to breathe, soft sobs still making his chest painfully constrict.

 

"Habi, can you look at me? Can you open eyes?" Javier forced himself to try and do what Yuzuru asked, and opened his eyes, barely, as much as he could. He found himself staring right at Yuzuru's face as the other kneeled in front of him, smiling softly through his tears. "Hi love, your eyes are so pretty. I happy you open them." Javier coughed, feeling the metallic taste of blood in his mouth for the first time, which sent him right back into panic and made his breath catch in his throat, before he started hyperventilating again. "Oh Habi, you okay, I'm here. I'm here. You okay." Yuzuru touched his cheeks with his warm hand, which only made Javier cry harder. Yuzuru quickly took his hands away, scared of his reaction, but he raised his hand and caught one of Yuzuru's, squeezing at tightly as he could. Yuzuru looked down, eyes widening, and looking away. "BRIAN, GET HELP NOW. HIS ARMS!" Javier felt the sting, but his arms didn't really hurt. At least now the ants crawling beneath his skin were gone. "Habi know who I am?" Javier nodded. Of course he knew. As if he'd forget the love of his existence. "Can you say my name?" Javier opened his mouth and tried to talk, but dissolved into a coughing fit instead. "Okay, it's okay. Breathe, love."

 

"Yu..." He gasped out. "Yuzu..." Yuzuru nodded, a couple of tears falling down his cheeks at the motion.

 

"Yes, you right." Javier looked at Yuzuru, trying to calm down.

 

Yuzuru was there, warm and safe and tired.

 

Yuzuru was there, alive. Javier's body sagged with relief, and Yuzuru quickly caught him, pulling him forward to lean against his body to stop him from falling face first into a puddle of his own vomit.

 

"Ambulance's here!" Someone (Jason? Conrad? He couldn't tell.)

 

"FUCKING FINALLY." That was Brian. Without a doubt.

 

Javier let himself slump against Yuzuru's chest, tired beyond belief. He had forgotten how bad panic attacks were, he hadn't had one in years.

 

His eyes snapped open, panic spiking back up when he felt hands separating him from Yuzuru.

 

He tried to trash against them, but was too weak to break their hold.

 

"Javi, JAVI, IT'S OKAY!" Yuzuru kept saying, trying to calm him down. "Let me go with! I keep him calm!"

 

Loud voices talking, all together, one over the other. He couldn't match them with the person they belonged to.

 

And then, Yuzuru's hand in his. He stopped trashing, and made sure to keep his hand attached to Yuzuru's. He felt someone move him, a hand caressing his cheek before someone placed something over his mouth, and everything went black.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


A rapid fire conversation in a language he did not understand fluently was the first thing he recognised when he woke up.

 

Yuzuru's voice. A couple of familiar words. His eyes were still closed, but he imagined how Yuzuru's lips moved to form the sounds, confidently pursing and stretching, opening and closing as he formed the vowels he was so familiar and comfortable with. Javier could stare at Yuzuru speaking Japanese forever and never get tired or bored.

 

He wanted to look at Yuzuru's face, so he tried to force his eyes open, and fought for a few moments before he could force them open, barely. But still, he could now stare at Yuzuru.

 

 _'He looks so tired.'_ Was the first thought that crossed his mind.

 

Tired, disheveled, stressed. All adjectives that fitted the way Yuzuru looked as he talked.

 

He looked down, to see one of Yuzuru's hands was resting over his own, and his eyes widened when he realised his entire arm was wrapped in bandages. He unconsciously flinched as he remembered the feeling of a million ants crawling all over him, making Yuzuru look at him, and quickly end the call when he noticed Javier was awake.

 

"Javi..." Yuzuru whispered, moving to rest his forehead on his shoulder for a couple seconds, before raising his head back up and giving him a teary eyed smile. Javier smiled back. "I was so worried. So worried." He leant forward, kissing Javier's cheek softly.

 

"What happened?" Javier started coughing instantly as his throat hurt the second he started to talk.

 

"Shhh, don't talk, your throat is not in good condition right now." Yuzuru raised his left hand, brushing Javier's hair away from his forehead. "You had panic attack. Lots of panic attacks." Yuzuru bit his lip. "You left rink at 5, Evgenia find you at 9. We didn't know where you were. It was awful." Teardrops starting falling down his cheeks. "You were in a dance practice room, in complete darkness, door closed and blinds shut." Javier raised a hand, wincing as he felt his arm sting under the bandages as it moved, and wiped Yuzuru's tears dry, making him smile a little. "Habi..."

 

 _'Oh no.'_ Javier thought. _'That's not good. He no longer says my name like that unless he's incredibly upset.'_

 

"Habi, Brian say you were just crying and breathing hard like asthma attack, against the wall. You puke before at some point too. Brian try to move you away but you started screaming and wouldn't stop." New tears replaced the one's Javier had wiped away on Yuzuru's cheeks. "I was looking in gym, and Joseph get me because Brian know not what to do." Yuzuru's English was getting worse as he got more upset. "I run there, and calm you down. Then ambulance come and take you here. You sleep for long time, it already 8 AM." Javier tried to whine, but winced as his throat ached painfully. "Throat is no good from screaming. Lungs are not good too, need bed rest for couple days. " Yuzuru caressed Javier's bandaged hand, sighing. "Hands and arms are scratched bloody, open. They have to give stitches in places." Yuzuru looked at him, heartbreak present in his eyes. "Habi need to talk. With doctor, with friend, with me, I don't care but let people help. I so scared." Yuzuru finally broke down in sobs,  burying his face in Javier's chest as he cried.

 

Javier could only stare at him cry and hold his hand.

 

_'I can't make him cry like this any more.'_

  
  
  
  


**_'This is your only chance to change the future, Javier. If you don't do this right, Yuzuru Hanyu will die.'_ **

  


Javier's face hardened as he had an epiphany.

 

**_'If you don't do this right.'_ **

  
  
  
  


_'I'll do this right. I'll stop this from happening. No one will rip Yuzuru away from me, even if I need to rip the entire world to pieces. I will find a way to keep you safe, my love.'_

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Okay, princesa, vamos a buscar comida.": Okay, Princess, let's go find food.


	5. I leave with the whole world

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiii! Surprise!! 
> 
> I have a midterm in 6 hours, I shouldn't be here, but this was already written so I decided I could waste 5 minutes posting it lol.
> 
> This is short, but it has been over a month since the last update, and it will probably be the last update for a while.
> 
> I'm almost completely done writing this story, just need to add some missing scenes, and then start the editing process, and I'm not going to post any new chapters until it's done. After that, I guess we'll do a chapter every 2 or 3 days until it's all been posted and the story is completed.
> 
> As always, million hearts to my beta Shaykippers for being so freaking awesome.
> 
> Happy reading, and I'll see you when I see you!!

 

_ Yuzuru closed the door behind himself, taking off his shoes and sighing, shaking the water droplets off his hair. The sunny day had become a rainy, grey afternoon out of nowhere. _

 

_ Yuzuru almost laughed. It had changed to match his mood, it seemed. He took off his jacket, opening the small entrance closet to fish out a hanger and store it in its rightful place. _

 

_ "Tadaima." He muttered under his breath, out of habit, and smiled a little bit. His mother had left a couple of days before, going back to Japan for two weeks for his father's birthday, after he had managed to convince her he could stay alone for more than two days and not die. He was sheltered, but not completely incompetent. He could cook, he could clean, he could do laundry, he could definitely survive two weeks without her. _

 

_ "Okaeri." He dropped the jacket and hanger in shock, turning around and gasping loudly when he found Javier standing in front of him in the middle of his own living room. _

 

_ "Javi! What... how.. how you get in?" Yuzuru couldn't believe the fact that Javier was standing there, in his apartment. In Toronto. _

 

_ "Turns out Brian actually has a copy of your apartment's keys? He said something about your mum asking him to check you didn't die at some point, but I didn't really understand." _

 

_ "But.. Euros...Javi..." Yuzuru tried to gather his thoughts and smiled. "You get gold! I so proud!" Javier smiled. "But then you gone after EX and I so worried. No one know where you are." _

 

_ "I was on a plane to Frankfurt. And then, on a plane to Toronto." Yuzuru frowned, confusion written all over his face. _

 

_ Javier took a few steps forward, and pulled Yuzuru into a hug. Yuzuru squeaked, surprised, but allowed himself to be pulled in, relaxing into Javier's embrace. He felt Javier's hands slowly rubbing up and down his back, before settling around his waist, fingers gently sinking into the fabric of his shirt. _

 

_ "I missed Javi so much." Yuzuru whispered, shivering as he bent his neck to bury his nose in Javier's shoulder. _

 

_ "I missed you even more. I'm... Yuzu... I'm here to take a chance." Yuzuru whined in protest when Javier broke the hug, but allowed Javier to move back until they could see each other's faces. "Yuzu, this might sound stupid to you, and god knows I might even be completely out of my mind and seeing things where there's nothing. I might ruin everything, and you might hate me after I tell you this, but I need to take the chance. I need to know your answer before I can think of the future." Javier took a deep breath, face completely serious, but eyes full of fear. "I love you. I think I've been in love with you for years now, but never realised. Until I knew it was too late, and I was missing my chance." Yuzuru's breathing hitched, eyes widening and mouth falling open. "I know this might be a stretch but... I need to know... Yuzu, I want to be with you. I want to come to Toronto, and be with you, and plan a future that's no longer mine, because it's ours. So, Yuzu, would you let me love you? Can I be yours?" _

 

_ Yuzuru raised his hands to cover his face, making Javier's heart freeze the second he saw his shoulders moving. Yuzuru was crying a couple of metres away, but Javier was too scared to take the few steps that separated them and hug him. _

 

_ "Habi..." Yuzuru let his hands drop, revealing his face, wet with tears, lower lip trapped between his teeth. "Habi..." He sobbed out Javier's name, before rushing towards him, wrapping himself completely around Javier's body, as close as he could. Javier instinctively closed his arms around Yuzuru, hugging him back. "Habi, I so scared. You left for Euros and take everything. Cat, things, everything from rink. I try to get to Euros too, because I want to see Habi's last skate live, but couldn't get plane ticket. I was so sure I was done, had no chance." Yuzuru leaned back for a second, before he surged forward, planting his lips over Javier's. _

 

_ Javier moaned in shock before kissing back, one hand on Yuzuru's waist and the other going to cup his cheek, while Yuzuru kissed him with passion and reckless abandon, pouring everything he felt for him into the contact. Yuzuru's lips tasted like green tea, and love, and a touch of madness. Javier found the taste addictive. _

 

_ Yuzuru broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against Javier's and starting to sob again. _

 

_ "I want Habi too. I need Habi with me. Lungs work bad normally, but they work worse when Habi is not around. Chest hurts. I can't breathe from empty feeling." _

 

_ Javier rubbed the tears off Yuzuru's cheeks. _

 

_ "Are you sure? Is this really what you want? I'm just... I'm 27 years old. I'm ready to enter the last relationship I'll ever be in. If you really want me, you're it for me. You've always been it, I just... never realised." He stroked his fingers over Yuzuru's eyebrows, making his eyes flutter shut. "If you really want me, you're it for me. I'll come back to Toronto, I'll live here and I'll give us everything I have in me. I'll love you until you no longer want me, or until the day I die." _

 

_ Yuzuru raised his hand, slender fingers gently following a path across Javier's eyes, and then making their way down the bridge of his nose. _

 

_ "Habi, you've been it for me since I 17 and come to Toronto. I ready to enter only relationship I ever have." _

 

_ Javier broke down in relieved sobs, hugging Yuzuru so close to his body, it felt as if they were becoming one. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Javi..."

 

Javier's eyes opened slowly, and he looked up to see Yuzuru sitting next to his bed.

 

"Yuzu..."

 

"Hi." Yuzuru leaned down to kiss Javier's hand, trying to move his arm as little as he could, mindful of the annoying, painful scratches and cuts under his bandages. "You okay? We were talking and you closed eyes and stopped answering."

 

"I was remembering." Javier said in a hushed whisper. His throat still felt like sandpaper had been rubbed all over it.

 

"Remembering? What?"

 

"The day I told you I loved you for the first time."

 

Yuzuru blushed, and lowered his head biting his lower lip to stop himself from smiling.

 

"I like that memory."

 

"It's a good memory."

 

"It is."

 

Silence. Fingers rubbing over knuckles.

 

"I meant what I said. I'll be with you until I die, or you no longer want me."

 

Yuzuru leaned down, kissing his lips gently, lovingly, and smiling against Javier's lips.

 

"Then I have bad news for you, you here forever. Because I will not ever not want you."

 

Javier winced as the pain flared up as he raised his hands to cup Yuzuru's cheeks.

 

"Best news ever, believe me. Because I will always want you as well."

  
  



	6. Will the sadness leave as well?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GASP! WHAT'S THIS? NARWHAL ACTUALLY UPDATING THIS STORY!?
> 
> Yes, indeed. This story is officially all ready to be posted until the end, so I'll do a chapter a week every Saturday until we're done.
> 
> A million thanks to my beta for this chapter, of_feathers_and_bowstrings.
> 
> Find me on Twitter if you want to chat! @k1mheechul
> 
> Happy reading, and see you next saturday!

"C'mon Jason, you're leaning too much, your axis is all out of whack." Javier said as Jason stopped in front of him to blow his nose. Jason whined at the remark, and Javier smiled, patting him on the shoulder. "Try to tuck your arms closer to your body when you jump, you're almost there. One more run-through, then we'll work on your step sequence again."

Javier nodded along to Jason's performance, smiling at the way his jump had improved just by changing his arm position a little, giving him a thumbs up when he turned to stare at him.

"Can I take a ten-minute break?" Jason asked, and Javier nodded, smiling when Jason skated towards where Han and Evgenia were chatting on the far end of the rink and almost crashed into them.

He sat down on the wooden bench, sighing as he rested his head against the wall and closed his eyes for a second.

"Hey Javi, are you okay?" He heard Brian asked, and hummed in response. "You look pale."

"What are you boys doing?" Tracy sat down next to him. "Are you alright, Javi?"

"Yes, don't worry guys, it's just a headache." He felt a third person standing next to him, and then a hand gently touching his forehead.

"You don't have a temperature." Yuzuru said. Javi opened his eyes, smiling softly as he grabbed Yuzuru's hand and laced their fingers together.

"I told you, I'm okay, it really is just a headache." He pressed his lips against the back of Yuzuru's hand making him smile through his concern.

"Fine, but I making dinner when we get home, you just sit and play with Effie."

Javier rolled his eyes but nodded anyway.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

  
Days went by, and Javier couldn't help but appreciate every little moment this time around. Every time Yuzuru scolded him for "making Effie sad" by putting her on a diet, every night spent cuddled up to Yuzuru, every morning he woke up with his face buried in Yuzuru's chest, and a hand running through his hair, every kiss, every shared shower, every touch... Javier kept living every single moment he shared with Yuzuru and stored those memories in a treasure box inside his heart, for now he knew every single one of those was precious.

Javier basked in the sheer normalcy of their everyday life: waking up early, having breakfast and heading down to the club, training, lessons, paperwork, making their way back home together, spending the evening at home, playing with Effie, talking, cuddling, trying to bake and failing miserably, having dinner in front of the TV, both ignoring a movie and paying attention to each other instead, taking a shower or a bath together, and then going to bed. He felt foolish for taking this for granted last time around, people were truly right when they said you don't know what you have until you've lost it and it can never be brought back.

But he had been brought back, and Javier was trying to soak every moment with Yuzuru like a sponge, living just for being with him, so much so, that he was cornered by Han at the end of the week.

"You need to focus." Han said, face stern and eyebrow raised. "You're wasting time, Javier. I understand you want to spent time with Yuzuru, but you need to get to work. The future will arrive, whether you try to ignore it or not, and you need to work and be prepared to face it."

"Han..."

"Don't look at me like that, I don't make the rules. I have better things to do than trying to look like I'm completely oblivious about the way tall, blond boy keeps flirting with your friend. Heaven knows the kid must be daft not to realise he's head over heels for him, and now I need to play dumb instead." Javier almost snorted. He had actually noticed how much Conrad seemed to be trailing after him like a lost puppy every time he wasn't training. "Well, your friend is actually quite fond of tall boy as well, so if you manage to stop the future from happening, maybe they can be happy together when he returns."

Javier lost his smile.

"I... I don't know where to start." He confessed, voice coming out barely louder than a whisper.

"The beginning is always a great place to start." Han nodded at him, turning around, taking one step, and then stopping and turning back towards him. "Please do try to solve it, though. It would be killing two birds with one stone. You'd be keeping your Yuzuru, and I'd be avoiding an even larger pile of paperwork. God knows this will take me centuries to sort through as it is."

Javier could do nothing but stare at Han's back as he walked away.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

_“What are you doing?” Yuzuru asked as Javier opened a bottle of sparkling wine and handed him a glass. He took it with a furrowed brow, looking at Javier as if he had finally lost it._

_“I’m celebrating.” Javier said, setting the bottle down on the table and taking his place next to Yuzuru on the sofa. Yuzuru took a sip from the glass before turning to face him._

_“Celebrate what? It no birthday. Did I forget important day again?” Javier laughed, and shook his head, leaning forward to give Yuzuru a loving kiss, making him sigh into his lips._

_“I don’t need a special day to celebrate that I love you. Because every day is a special day when I’m with you.”_

_“Is that why there’s burning chicken in the oven?”_

_“MIERDA!”_

_They ended up ordering pizza and eating it while they criticized a random japanese drama Yuzuru wanted to watch. It was a perfect night._

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

  
His fingers were buried in Effie's fur, the cat peacefully sleeping on his chest as he petted her absent-mindedly. Yuzuru had gone out to get groceries, and had forced Javier to stay home, because his head had been hurting again, and he was concerned he was coming on with something.

Javier closed his eyes, trying to think it through again, re-live the worst day of his life for the millionth time in his mind, trying to find any clues that would let him discover what had actually gone wrong, so he could stop it from happening again. Try as he might, he could never go over watching Yuzuru bleed to death, feeling him slip away as he held him in his arms.

His headache only got worse with each time he tried to think about it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

  
_"JAVI!" Javier almost had a heart attack when Yuzuru screamed his name from the bedroom, sound still muffled by the closed wooden door, but still loud enough to scare him into dropping his phone to the floor. Yuzuru came into the living room like a storm, face mask covering his nose and mouth, a cleaning rag in one hand and a feather duster in the other._

_"Si, mi vida?"_

_"Up, up! Here!" Yuzuru handed him the duster and Javier looked at it like it was an object that had come out of a sci-fi movie._

_"Uhm... what am I supposed to do with this thing?"_

_Yuzuru gave him a glare, and Javier flinched under his stare._

_"We spring cleaning."_

_Javier frowned, and looked out of the window. It was snowing heavily outside. He looked back at Yuzuru and raised an eyebrow._

_"Yuzu... you do know it's the middle of January, right?" Yuzuru rolled his eyes. "I'm just saying..."_

_"Winter cleaning then. Now Hayakushite! Get fat butt off sofa and help!"_

_Javier raised both eyebrows but trailed behind Yuzuru when he turned around and went back inside their bedroom, muttering Hayakushite under his brain over and over again, trying to make use of his really non-existent Japanese skills._

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

"Javiiiiii...." Grunt. "Javi, wake up!" Yuzuru giggled, and lay down against his body, making both Javier and Effie move in their sleepy daze until they were stuck right against his warm body. Javier opened a single eye and he caught Yuzuru taking a selfie of their position: Yuzuru on his back, Javier half-draped over his body, and Effie lying half on his chest and half on top of Javier.

"I look like shit."

"Javi most handsome man ever." Yuzuru stated, opening Javier's Instagram account, choosing a filter and uploading the picture. "So handsome I think I want keep to myself, but I take picture together to make other jealous. Javi is mine." Javier hummed, kissing Yuzuru's neck and nodding against his warm skin.

"I'm only yours. Forever. No one will ever pry me away from you." Yuzuru kissed him gently, and then smiled against his lips.

"Sleep. We can take nap before dinner."

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Javier unlocked his phone as he waited for Yuzuru to be done washing the dishes, since Javier had cooked. He opened Instagram, saw the many notifications he had already, and checked the comments. There were the usual thirsty comments, comments about how cute they looked together, and of course comments praising Effie for being the most beautiful cat ever, which was true in Javier's opinion. But one of them, one comment that could have easily been lost and ignored between all the other comments, caught his attention:

  
"Just you wait. All that rises fall, and you'll be covered in a sea of fire."

He frowned. For some reason, that comment looked familiar. Then his eyes widened, and his fingers tapped his screen rapidly.

Bingo.

There they were.

This was what he had ignored the first time around. They had all been there all along, and he had been too blind to pay attention. They had always been there.

On Alina's posts, Evgenia's pictures, Jason's dance videos, Jun's ramyeon compilations, Stephane's ugly shirt pictures, Nathan's quick posts of him playing the guitar... everywhere.

It was always the same comment, or some variation of it, made from different empty accounts: always talking about covering them with a sea of fire and destroying them.

There it was.

That was the clue.

_...and he was even more lost than before._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just in case someone didn't understand, italics were used to mark flashbacks.
> 
> Feel free to yell at me or leave your theories in the comments... I'm really interested in what your theories are ♥


	7. If it's one life, it's now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know.  
> It's been a month.  
> Mental health went to shit, and lack of inspiration made me not be able to write or edit things with an actual plot.  
> I'm sorry.  
> I'll try not to take so long with chapter 8.  
> Happy reading!

“It has to mean something. It has to. I didn’t see it before but it’s right there, everywhere. Han, please tell me I’m not simply going insane.”

Han nodded, leaning against the wall as Javier sat on a mat in the empty dance studio they always used for their meetings.

“You’re right, it does mean something, I’m glad you actually saw it this time around, it will make figuring things out easier.” Han hesitated for a second. “… I think.”

“You think?” Javier frowned.

“Well, the Fate hasn’t decided what their course of action will be. They are really unhappy with the time mistake.” Han raised both shoulders in a shrug. “They’re still in the talks, trying to decide what to do about your case. So, I think you should hurry up and work really hard to try and solve this thing before it solves itself and you’re left with the same result.”

Javier sighed and leaned his head against the wall, closing his eyes.

“Why is everything so fucked up.”

“It’s life, Javier. Most things in life are never fair or easy.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

_Javier gasped as he instinctively moved to grab the person whose body he had collided with while turning around to grab his bag from the locker room bench._

_“I’m sorry!” He said, noticing the small shoulders he was holding belonged to a tiny Asian skater._

_“It ok!” The kid smiled at him, a wide, bright smile that made his eyes crinkle. Javier had to fight against the need to squish his cute, chipmunk-like chubby cheeks._

_‘So cute’_

* * *

 

“Habiiiiiiiii!” He could hear the pout in Yuzuru’s voice from afar, and he sighed, biting his lip to try and stop the smile trying to form. He opened the door to get out of the locker room and instantly gasped as a warm body collided with his, hands tightly grasping the small shoulders that belonged to Yuzuru.

“Yuzu! You need to be more careful!” He scolded him, and Yuzuru pouted.

“But Javi! Evgenia said EXO is better than AKB48!” Javier let go of Yuzuru, lifting both hands to rub at his eyes.

“’Be a coach, Javi’ they said. ‘It’ll be fun, Javi’ they said.” He stared at the two bickering adults in front of him, Jason sitting on the floor sharing a bag of crisps with Joseph. “You two, Brian will murder you if he sees you eating that.” They looked at each other and shrugged.

“Don’t worry Javi, I’ll walk home and burn the calories.” Joseph answered, putting a bunch of crisps into his mouth.

“I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight, half a bag of crisps won’t kill me. Plus, they’re vinegar flavoured. Want one, Javi?” He rolled his eyes at Jason and shook his head no.

“I’m just going to get the five-year-old I call my boyfriend and take him home. I’m too old for this shit.” He scoffed as they both waved their hands goodbye at him and turned around. “Okay firecracker let’s go now. If you stop fighting, I’ll let you DJ for the ride home.”

“You’d let me DJ anyway, you love my music.” Yuzuru said, sassily cocking his hip and raising his eyebrow, but stopping anyway, grabbing his bags from the floor and walking to take Javier’s hand.

“Sure thing, Yuzu. Whatever you say.”

 

Javier was tortured by Yuzuru playing Aitakatta on repeat the entire way home. He didn’t think he could love Yuzuru any more than he did right then.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

He barely had time to kick his shoes off and drop his bags before Yuzuru was pulling at his arm, dragging him by the arm towards the bedroom.

Javier let himself be pulled along, knowing he would never resist anything Yuzuru wanted, whatever it turned out to be. A smile bloomed on his face when Yuzuru looked at him with bright, hopeful eyes, pawing at his hoodie.

“Off, off off off! Please?” Javier removed the offending article of clothing, instantly understanding what it was that Yuzuru wanted, and Yuzuru smiled brightly, eyes disappearing into crescent shapes, and he started removing his own clothes, making quick work of them before throwing himself onto the bed and crawling under the covers. Javier patiently removed all his clothing and then lay beside Yuzuru, who instantly stuck to his side, lying halfway over him and burying his face in Javier’s neck, nuzzling his nose against his warm skin. “Thanks.”

Javier laughed, dropping a kiss onto Yuzuru’s forehead, one hand rubbing soft, tender circles on Yuzuru’s bare back, the other softly combing through his hair as he felt all the tension melt away from Yuzuru’s body. Yuzuru simply adored skin-to-skin contact, and it showed in the fact that they found themselves bare against each other for completely innocent reasons a lot more often than they did for sex. Javier loved the fact that he could reassure Yuzuru and calm him down simply with his touch and his presence.

_‘Who would’ve thought that cute Asian kid with the chubby cheeks would be the love of my life?’_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

“Pooh-san! Javi, where’s Pooh-san!? I can’t find him!” Yuzuru ran around the room, throwing things into his back and making sure everything was packed. Javier was sitting on the bed, Effie leaning against his leg as he scratched her chin, both watching Yuzuru panic as he tried to get everything, he needed ready.

 

 

_‘If only his fans knew their perfect, proper, focused Yuzuru Hanyu is a messy packer that leaves everything to the last minute.’_

 

 

“Yuzu, breathe. Pooh-san is already in your backpack.” Yuzuru turned around, running to the bag and wrenching it open, only to find Pooh-san’s happy face staring at him, just like Javier had said. “Remember to grab the right gloves, love. We don’t want another ACI now, do we?” Yuzuru glared at him, Javier sending him a big smile, but went to check on his gloves and costumes, making sure they were all ready and all components had been packed.

“I have everything!” Yuzuru said happily. “We go.”

“Are you sure, Yuzu?”

“Yeah, I am!”

“Yuzu…”

“What?”

“You’re not wearing any trousers.”

Yuzuru looked down, realising he was indeed standing there in the middle of the room wearing only black underwear. Javier bit back a smile as Yuzuru breathed in deeply.

“Shit.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“See, we make it in one piece! It’s all good!” Jason snorted at Yuzuru’s words, making sure his bag was underneath his seat and Evgenia hit him on the back of the head to shut him up.

“Yuzuru, you almost lost your passport, you disaster child.”

“Javi, I not disaster child! I’m an adult.” Javier rolled his eyes.

“Yes Yuzuru, you’re a real adult, Yuzu. Now sit down and stop kneeling on the seat, so we’re ready for take-off.”

“…I hate you.”

“You love me, don’t lie.”

“… yes, but I still hate you.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Do you have everything, Yuzu?”

“Yes, I do, let’s go! Oh no, wait! Let’s take next bus please!”

Everyone turned around to stare at him.

“Yuzu, why?” Brian moaned, trying to repress his instinct to murder his skater. He hadn’t made it for 10 years only to fail after so long.

“Vincent is in that one.”

“Yeah, so?”

“He’s always annoying when we’re together. Keeps talking about himself.” Jason bit his lip to avoid laughing.

“I’m sure he’s not that bad, Yuzu…” Brian tried to negotiate.

“Brian, if I ever wanted to kill myself, I’d climb to the top of his ego and jump to his quad Lutz rotations.” Evgenia said, raising an eyebrow. Han let out a loud barking laugh, slapping his hands over his mouth to quiet down, making everyone laugh at him.

“Javi…” Javier shrugged at Brian.

“They’re right Brian. C’mon, let’s sit down and wait for the next coach, it’s only 15 minutes.”

“Why did I have to get the bunch of wild kids!?  What country did I betray in my previous life?”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Javier kept looking around as Yuzuru, Jason and Han started warming up on the ice. He couldn’t help but feel there was something wrong.

Everything looked normal, but there was this feeling in his gut, something that was pressing on his chest, making his lungs struggle to expand and take oxygen, his fight or flight instinct was going insane, he couldn’t help but want to grab Yuzuru, put him in a room, wrapped in blankets and bubble wrap and make sure he was safe and nothing was going to happen to him.

Yuzuru, who was out on the ice drilling his newly acquired quad Flip, after a season of struggling with edge calls. Who looked focused, no fun all business on the ice, but kept giving Javier tiny smiles when he came to the boards to drink water or blow his nose.

Yuzuru, who was Javier’s entire world.

Javier had ignored hunches before. He wouldn’t ignore this one.

The last time he had, everything had gone to hell.

He wasn’t about to let that happen again.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

_“Silver.”_

_“Yes, Yuzu.”_

_“It’s SILVER, Javi.”_

_“I can see it, Yuzu.”_

_“It don’t match my costume.”_

_Javier let out a laugh, cuddling Yuzuru closer to his body, both lying in his hotel room, Yuzuru’s hair damp from the shower he had taken right after the press conference._

_“I know love, I know. I’m sorry you didn’t get the gold, you deserved it.”_

_“I didn’t. Not this time. I okay with that, he was better.” Yuzuru nuzzled his nose into Javier’s collarbone, making him shiver. “I wanted gold to match costume and Javi’s medal.” Javier kissed his forehead, brushing his fingers through his hair._

_“Don’t worry, Yuzu. You’ll get it next time. I know you will.”_

_Yuzuru smiled softly and kissed Javier, slowly, unhurriedly…_

 

 

 

 

 

…a kiss that was meant to be sweet and loving, no passion or fire in the soft touch.

Javier smiled against Yuzuru’s lips, his hand softly caressing Yuzuru’s cheek, fingers running gently over the soft skin.

“Javi…” Yuzuru whispered against his lips, warm breath hitting his skin. Javier hummed in response, planting tender kisses against Yuzuru’s eyebrows. “I can’t wait to spend rest of my life with you.”

Javier trembled slightly, bloody scenes, full of pain and the stench of death filling his brain.

“I love you so much, Yuzu.” He breathed in the smell of Yuzuru’s shampoo and closed his eyes to focus on the feeling of Yuzuru. Warm, alive, soft skin touching his own, safely lying in his arms. “I can’t wait for forever either. But let’s go to sleep now, you need to be rested for the short tomorrow.”

Yuzuru hummed, turning around to let himself be spooned, Javier’s arms instinctively wrapping around his waist as he dropped kisses against his shoulder, and he was asleep within minutes.

 

 

 

Javier wished he could say the same, but sleep was eluding him for some reason.

The feeling was back. The one that told him there was something that just wasn’t right.

He closed his eyes, trying to focus on Yuzuru’s rhythmic breathing, and the slight movement of his stomach as he inhaled and exhaled, under his hand.

And then, he heard it.

Loud footsteps outside the room. Someone stopping for a few seconds and then walking again. And stopping. And walking. Again, and again, and again.

He bit his lip.

The weight on his chest was there again. He wanted nothing more than to bury his nose in Yuzuru’s hair and fall asleep.

But he had promised himself he wouldn’t ignore his gut-feelings.

So, he got up, carefully leaving the bed so that Yuzuru wouldn’t wake up, put his slippers on and headed for the door, grabbing his key card on the way.

He opened the door quietly, trying to make as little noise as he could, sticking his head out of the door. He looked out both sides and found the hallway to be completely empty.

Something caught his attention, making him turn around and check his door.

There it was.

An innocent-looking yellow post-it note. Stuck to the wooden door.

The neat handwriting gave him chills.

 

 

 

_**“I will make you drown in a sea of fire. Just you wait”** _

__

 

 

 

It was there. On his door. It was everywhere.

Post-it notes were stuck onto every single door he could see.

It was coming.

And Javier wasn’t sure he was ready to face the fire without getting burned and losing the ones he loved to the flames.


End file.
